Virtual Date

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I’m taking Annie out on the internet
     We’re going on a virtual date
I’ll pick her up sharp around quarter to five
     For her that means a quarter to eight
There won’t be a question of her place or mine
I’ll finger her address while our modems entwine
I’m taking Annie out on the internet
     We’re going on a virtual date

I’m taking Annie out on the internet
     A cyber-struttin’ dude and his doll
We’ll slip through every socket on our TCP line
     We’ll master every server’s protocol
Her knowledge of the net has got me thoroughly awed
She’s got a cable modem and a dream-of-a-BAUD
I’m taking Annie out on the internet
     We’re going on a virtual date

We’ll take a cruise
Through Usenet news
     From comp.sys.unix to alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die
And when we’ve read
Through every thread
     We’ll have to take a moment and reply

We’ll stop for tea
In IRC
     We’ll make a secret channel safe from passersby
And if by chance we get stuck in a MUD
Be it steamy conversation or dungeons ’n’ blood
I’ll have a shot to show her I’m a cyber-stud
     And maybe I’ll explore her GUI…

(spoken:) They say it’s kinda ‘gooey’…

I’m taking Annie out on the internet
     We’re browsing till we’ve seen every site
From yahoo.com out to the Really Big Button That Doesn’t Do Anything,
     Link to link, we’ll download all night
We’re surfers at sport on the world’s biggest stage
And flamers beware, we’ll HTTP your home page!
I’m taking Annie out on the internet,
     I’ll log us in before it’s too late,
I get out on the net with her whenever I can.
We met eleven days ago in alt.startrek.fan,
I’d rather not remember that she might be a man,
     We’re going on a virtual,
     Do a gopher search, you will
     Find us on our virtual
     Date!